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If you dug through the files in your brain that recorded performance reviews, you will most likely find two categories: “Keep” and “Shred.” You want to shred the memories associated with a bad performance review. But interestingly enough, you received some negative feedback over the years that you’ve filed into the “keep” folders. What makes you want to shred certain memories is not actually the review itself, but the way you received it—the way it made you feel. You felt embarrassed whe...

March 2020—when everything changed. You don’t need a play-by-play. You lived it. You can probably remember the shock, the uncertainty, the adjustments, the frantic search for toilet paper, of all things. You remember redecorating your house to create a usable office space and a classroom. You remember organizing your day so that you could do your work and help your children with theirs. You remember the endless days at home. The initial, “Okay, we’ve got this!” feeling soon drifted into, “...

It’s a beautiful sunny day, and you’ve decided to take your morning jog to a nearby park rather than circling your neighborhood like always. You pass a child, wobbling on her shiny pink bike, white-knuckled, and determined. Her father walks patiently behind her, one hand on the seat, the other on the handlebar, steadying his daughter as she pedals without the confidence training wheels supplied. You remember the freedom you felt as a kid, soaring around on your bike with your buddies. As you m...

Have you ever taken a spin class? Whether at home on a stationary bike or in a mirrored room filled with people, you know this form of exercise is going to be hard work. The initial pedaling feels like you’re moving the bike through thick mud. You apply so much effort to get the wheels spinning, pressing hard to catch up to the instructor’s speed. Then, once you get moving, the momentum propels the wheels to spin faster with less effort on your part (until the instructor changes the incline). ...

You know that feeling you get when someone reads something over your shoulder? (Maybe it’s been a while since we’ve all been practicing social distancing for nearly a year!) You instantly become distracted. Your eyes dart, trying to politely discern that someone is in fact invading your personal space. Then you turn, a confused and frustrated look on your face—is this really necessary you wonder? You couldn’t wait until I was finished reading, or finished writing, to read what is on my scree...

Have you ever discounted someone by their communication style? We analyze tone, decipher honesty, and interpret motives when we hear others communicate, especially those in authority. Whether it’s a news reporter, social media influencer, parent, or manager, we quickly decide who is trustworthy, who is authentic, and who is relevant in just a few minutes. If you want to build a team of men and women who trust your leadership, it may be time to adjust your communication tactics. By adopting thre...

There’s an episode of the TV show Friends where Phoebe helps Joey make a decision by playing a word association game. She asks Joey a series of simple “would you rather questions” and tells him to answer as quickly as possible. Without time to think, he can express his true feelings and easily make a decision. She starts by asking random things like, “Would you rather eat egg whites or peanut butter?” before asking him the question he’s really trying to answer. As always, it’s comical, bu...

It’s a rainy Saturday afternoon, and you’re ten years old. You and your siblings are playing Monopoly, and your sister’s yellow houses are popping up everywhere. It seems like each time you roll the dice you owe her rent. You try to block her, keep her from building hotels, but it’s pointless. She knows the importance of playing the game swiftly and slowly, and she’s undoubtedly reaping the benefits. If you remember the rules of the game, the key is to purchase one piece of property after a...

Have you ever walked into a room and instantly felt out of place? It’s as if you have attended a party to which you were accidentally invited. It’s clear you’re not welcome and you’re certainly not included in the conversation. Awkwardness surges through your body as you try to find a place to hide or blend in. Maybe you’re the bold type and call attention to the tension making others laugh nervously. You’re not sure how to respond and neither do the others. Or those who believe you’re st...

Tension hangs in the air. You can’t believe your colleague just said that--at all, let alone in a conference meeting. Most of the men and women sitting around the large wooden table are pretending to look through their notes, some check email on their phone. No one has said a word in what has been the longest minute you’ve ever endured. Maybe you should have been more understanding, given him another chance to speak up before you shut him down. But now you’re too shocked and angry to give him...